Promoting the virtues of adoption and foster parenting
Sometimes a difficult situation can have a very positive outcome. Such was the case with Karen Schlindwein and her husband, Tom. After struggling with infertility issues and the heartbreak of a miscarriage, they discovered the joy of adoption. That decision, more than 20 years ago, led the Waukesha couple toward a new mission in life: advocating for adoption and foster care.
Their adopted children are grown and married now. Yet each followed Mom's example: Amalie Bowling (now 24) and Joseph Schlindwein (26) are themselves proud parents of two adopted children each.
Foster care was not new to Schlindwein. Her parents cared for foster children while she was growing up. Just as her mother was open about the concept of adoption, she and Tom made sure their children knew they were adopted. But also that they had a loving and nurturing home.
Schlindwein speaks often and passionately about this topic, as we learned when she visited us on June 14. Citing statistics from 2015, the most recent year available, she noted that:
- 644 children were adopted through the foster care system in Wisconsin; 1,267 others were waiting to be adopted at the end of the year.
- Wisconsin had 7,091 children in foster care (out of 428,000 nationwide).
On average, about 100 kids are placed in foster care each month in Milwaukee County, with more than 2,000 in foster care at any time. Waukesha, with 50 licensed homes, had approximately 120 children in foster care recently. (Waukesha County is looking to add another 40 foster families in 2017.) If no one takes in a child, the young person ends up in a group home or detention center. The issue is “becoming a crisis in Waukesha County,” she says.
While her children were growing up, Schlindwein stayed in touch with their birth mothers through regular cards and letters. About five years ago she got to meet Amalie's birth mother, Lois. Lois was dying of cancer, so her family arranged what Schlindwein described as an "awesome" reunion. On display was the album containing all those cards and letters Lois had saved. Though torn and tattered, they were Lois' "lifeline" to her daughter. She realized she made the right decision in giving up her daughter for adoption.
Later that year Amalie and Jason Bowling founded Chosen, Inc., a Christian-based organization promoting adoption and foster care. (Schlindwein serves as Executive Director.) They recently opened The Family Closet, a donation center where foster parents can "shop" for new merchandise and gently used clothing. The Family Closet is found inside their offices at 217 Wisconsin Ave., Waukesha.
Schlindwein and Amalie Bowling have collaborated on "Dear Lois: Our Adoption Journey," a poignant story told largely through those letters to the birth mothers.
Although Chosen, Inc. is a Christian organization, Schlindwein emphasizes that it not associated with any one church or denomination. And while the primary focus is adoption, the not-for-profit organization strives to serve foster families and, when the children have been reunited, biological families as well. The hope is that the child finds a permanent and loving family, what they call a Forever Family. "So, the fostering, or supporting of, Forever Families is inclusive to both adoption and biological families," Schlindwein says.
Learn more at choseninlove.org.